Day by Day

I started my new job two weeks ago but the real work has only been going on for two days. I can honestly say I had NO idea what the job entailed. I knew the students were at this school for different needs, but the anger and outbursts have been so difficult for me.

The first day it took everything I could not to cry b/c I was frustrated beyond belief. One student is far below the others and has serious anger issues. When the others say something he goes off. Instead of helping with classwork, I spent two days trying to break up fights and keep tempers down.

I will fully admit that I'm mentally exhausted. So exhausted that I didn't want to run my 5k race this morning. I'm happy that I did go because I feel a bit better about myself. I managed with a decent-for-me time and can now say I finished a race.

As for work? I'm going to have to take it one day at a time. I have to find a way to not let the previous day affect me negatively and do my best to help these students. That's what I'm there for anyway. It's not about me or my feelings. It's about the students.

I'm sure I'm going to have bad days, just like they are, but there is a BIG difference. When the school day's over, I go back to my 'normal life'. These students have to continue with their anger and frustration all day long. These guys are just starting out in life and have to overcome so many roadblocks. I'm getting  paycheck and can find other work if I need to. These guys are struggling to find themselves a place in the world where they can do what I already do. They're struggling, I'm just trying to cheer them along and do what I can to help.

I know even if I have the worst day of my life at that school, it's still nothing compared to what they have to go through every day. I do want to help and hope I can make even a small difference.